Little tweaks (to help you move forward in various facets of life)
It has been a long and tiresome day. Dark in the evening right before you leave the office .
“I am very worried the client might reject this version”.
“Hold on – you cannot do a project like Google and aren’t getting paid for one. Don’t stress yourself for something you can’t change now. Their decision is for them to make”.
“No Ana, I’ve read other contractors experience with that client. They are nitpicky.”
“Your application is alright. The graphs are excellent to look at. They are going to love it”.
“You don’t know Ana. I feel I am going to lose here”.
I’m sure Ana would rather the conversation end there than later. The attitude from the speaker (you?) is negative and is begging for sympathy. Not being an optimist doesn’t give you the power to sulk and pull in dark clouds over any conversation.
Many relationships tend to lose traction because we start to think loud and show a non-positive (because anything other than being positive – even status quo won’t help) side hoping the person at the other end is an all eating bin that can never get tired of your triage. This world doesn’t have enough Del Griffiths. “You may be right – they could like it. The database calls and the general UI are great. I did put in work and it shows”.
Imagine you surprise the other end with the reply even if you don’t believe it wholeheartedly. It offers you being positive and the other person being accepted. It’s a win-win situation and you are definite to get an increase in rank in their books. Perfect chemistry between people are a rarity and one that cannot be learnt or taught. But creating a good outlook for yourself is sure to get you better at handling people that impact your day – from your family to co-workers to your boss.
Negative conversations, with an assumption that the other person is expected to be a part of (mainly spouse) is a shot at the bleaker ends of human nature. It serves nothing but bring in aloofness and withdrawal. The first time you see a pout from the other end, you can assure that the chemistry is on the decline. Most likely outcome is recession of moving forward. A bad relationship in either personal or work place leads to lack of motivation and unchecked – leads to depression and even psychosis.
How many syndromes do we read in newspapers and journals? Postmenopausal depression, postpartum depression, middle-aged syndrome – can be helped a bit by positive outlook from the person in company. PPD is being doubted to have caused the recent Capitol Hill shooting at Washington, DC. Changing attitude to a positive approach towards conversation with people who matter – your spouse, kids and colleagues make a better version of yourself. It’s like getting a new smartphone, a car or even painting your house. The functionality might be the same but your brain that has become lethargic and bored with what it lives around is kindled.
Your spouse will have confidence in the relationship; your boss might notice your approach during tougher times and give your chance of promotion a notch above the rest and you ‘might’ get your kids do what you say. J
The lines below matter more in these times when its all about socializing, friends and ‘liking’ their stuff.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
– John Donne
Doing something new with your partner – learning a hobby with spouse, implementing new team building exercises etc., is sure to bring in fresh breeze to a rusty daily life. Showing your positive side and especially the one that displays your care for the other is one major ingredient in recipe of life.
What do you think? Do comment below on some tweaks you’ve done to your life that won you relationships, friends or even a boss who sulks less at you.